Wow, I really suck at this

I am a terrible blogger. I admit it. I go months without updating anything and then by the time I get around to it, I feel like I have a novel to write. So I usually just bag it and post some tiny random thought that really doesn't even begin to describe my life.

So this time I am going to attempt an edited version of the novel I usually feel compelled to relate to you. (all two of you who read this blog)

First of all, I have to talk about the most pressing matter on my mind. Time! It is just going by way too fast. I know that is such an overused expression, but that's because it's true. I can't believe that it's 2010, I have a teenager (who, by the way, will be DRIVING in 3 years), my baby is two, I'm on the downhill slope to age 40, I have been married 15 years in June, etc. etc. etc. Does anybody else feel like they are getting washed away by a very swiftly moving river and you are barely keeping your head above water? That's the closest thing I can think of to describe it. But even though life is moving very fast, I love every minute of it. Well, maybe not every minute, but definitely 90% of them. :) I only hope that I can enjoy my kids at this stage in their lives as much as possible so that I have no regrets later on.

Speaking of my kids, I have to brag about them for a moment. Yes, I get to do that because it's my blog. Alex, the teenager/man-child, is so much fun. I enjoy having him around and he's 13! Who knew I would love the teenage years? Well, so far anyway. I know there are those of you who are shaking your head and saying "Oh, just you wait" and all that. But it is so fun to have another person to laugh with, talk to and have little inside jokes with and realize that this is your child. You used to change his diapers, play Pokemon, sing kid songs together and now he looks so grown up. He has opinions and inspirations. He's changed from this little, timid boy to a very handsome, smart, talented and a little bit too sarcastic young man that I just adore. He loves Jazz music and has learned how to play the trombone very well. I love listening to him practice and I love seeing him perform. Plus he has a lot of fun playing.

Nate is quickly following in Alex's footsteps. He is learning to play the saxophone. He will be 11 in March and is beginning this metamorphosis from child to young adult. It is so strange how much they change in such a short amount of time. They seem like different people after they reach a certain age. He is such a handsome kid. He looks just like his Daddy and I am amazed at what that boy can do. He works with Shawn all the time to fix things and build things. He is so good with his hands and is artistic at the same time. If I need something put back together or fixed, I just ask Nate. He is not only willing, but he is capable too. He is destined to do great things!

Seth is turning 8 in a few months and is excited to be baptized. It is this time in my kid's lives that I start to really examine my parenting skills (or the lack thereof). I wonder if I've taught them what they need to know about life and about the gospel. I wonder if they really know what they are doing. I start to feel a little panicked and try to shove every gospel concept into their brains as fast as possible. This doesn't work, of course. But it makes me feel a little better. Seth has also started taking piano lessons from yours truly. He really does have a talent for it. I have a feeling that I will be farming him out to some other teacher in a couple of years, because he will have surpassed my musical ability. He has a great ear and can pick out melodies and play them. If I can just get him to learn to read music then he will be amazing!

Abigail is already 2 and it was only like a few hours ago that I gave birth to her. Seriously, could we just slow the time machine down a bit? She truly amazes me. I cannot even describe it. I just feel so lucky and blessed and a little bit undeserving of such a precious little girl. I want to fold her up in a soft blanket and never, ever let go. What on earth am I going to do when she starts school? Or starts driving? Or, heaven forbid, DATING?!? No way. Either she won't get to do any of those things or I will need to be heavily medicated when she does. I just pray every day that I will have the faith that it will require to let her go out into the world and live her life. What is it about a little girl that provokes this feeling of over-protectiveness? Is that even a word? It's a good thing I have Shawn to balance out this paranoia of mine. Sometimes he is the most laid back person about stuff like that. But when it comes to Abby, I wonder if he will still be the same? Hmmm...we'll see.

Ok, enough thinking for a while. If you made it this far in this extremely long post, thank you! Either it really was interesting or you have nothing better to do. :)