I'm not sure where I am going with this one. I just know I need to write. About nothing and everything at the same time.
I guess I'll start with the life update.
Shawn had one of his patients die the other day at the ER. I know that it happens all the time in an ER and in a hospital but this was the first of Shawn's actual patients that died and I think it hit him harder than he thought it would. How does a person really get used to that? I guess you don't. Humanity won't let you. But you build up defenses against it and right now Shawn's defenses are in their beginning stages. So there's that.
The kids are doing pretty well. They are bored, of course. It's summer, they've been waiting all year for it and now that it's here, they don't know what to do. But we're planning a camping trip this weekend with just the six of us so that will be interesting. We've never actually been on a camping trip with just us. We've always been with cousins or friends, so I am interested to see how the dynamic changes and if it will be a great experience or a disaster. Maybe a little of both and probably a memorable experience either way. As a side note, I was wondering if any of you have any bright ideas about how to keep a six year old girl occupied for 4 days in the wilderness? I think that will be our biggest challenge.
I am stressed beyond belief and wondering what the heck I was thinking when I thought I could do school and kids and callings and life all at the same time. Who do I think I am anyway? Super Mom? Wonder Woman? Elastigirl? I will just need to find a way to be flexible (get it? get it? oh nevermind), organized and keep up my motivation. I'm also thinking that this whole stay-up-til-one-in-the-morning-doing-homework business isn't going to work. I'm exhausted and I don't think I get much out of it anyway when I'm trying to stay up that late. I'm thinking that once everyone starts school, I will treat those 7 hours they are gone like my full time job. I will go to classes and spend the time in between studying. Then when they come home I can go into Mom mode and do my thing. I know Shawn has pledged his allegiance to my school plans and will help me as much as he can. So...all will be well. I need to stop worrying, keep breathing and know that everything will work out.
I'm sorry you're so stressed Meg. I think that's a good idea about treating school like your fulltime job. If I had done that, I might have finished :)
ReplyDeleteI know when I was working at the hospital the ER dictations were some of the hardest ones to listen to. Of course, people who were super duper sick usually got life-flighted to CO before they ever got to our little community hospital, but sometimes not and a few would die, usually unexpectedly and sometimes pretty horrifically. I think it really takes special people to do any kind of emergency work.
I hope camping went well. I would think taking a 6-year-old camping would be easier than dealing with them at home. Shows what I know! I would probably find some really cool trails and make her walk til she dropped. It works for my dogs LOL.