Trying to be positive

Thinking is overrated

Remind me of this fact the next time I decide to do something new with my life. Give me a sleazy paperback and a bag of candy to lure me away from temptation. Because do you know what happens to Megan when she has to use more than 10% of her brain? She turns into evil, irritating, cyborg Megan who is a cross between an angsty teenager and an angry chihuahua. If you ever decide to finish your unfinished business just remember that You will be assimilated! Resistance is futile! Run away! Run far, far away!

Now that you have a visual, I'm assuming I don't need to update you on the status of my life.

Deep thought

"If you give a man a fish, you will feed him for a day.

If you teach a man to fish, you will feed him for a lifetime.

If you feed him to a shark, he will quit bugging you for food."

Putting on my big-girl pants

It's interesting how historic milestones in my life often sneak up on me quickly and quietly. I'm so busy speeding through my days that by the time I look around and see what's outside my window, I nearly speed right pass the scenery without having a moment to apply my brakes and enjoy the view. Or better yet, pull over and take a few pictures.

Tomorrow is one of those days, for it is my eldest's 18th birthday.

I can't believe it. I knew it was coming; this moment when I would be the mother of an adult. I have thought about it from time to time over the past two decades, but it always seemed to feel so far away. Now it's here and I am left feeling a little bewildered. Shouldn't I be getting an award of some sort?

"Congratulations, you kept him alive."

I guess that's something. In fact, that's downright unbelievable considering what I know now about that brand new, 21 year-old Mom I was back in 1996. Thank heaven for that user manual I got when he was born. Oh? You didn't get one? I still have my copy. It's called "Go Ask Your Parents". It's well-used and will hopefully remain in circulation for a long time to come because I still don't have the directions straight.

Is this milestone the one that marks the place in time when I finally start acting and feeling like a grown-up? No kidding around this time. It's the real deal. Tomorrow I will feel like a genuine adult, not just a kid who is pretending to be an adult. No more training pants for me. I successfully bred and raised a human. Bring on the wisdom. And give it to me quickly, please, because I still have three more to go.

Dear Candy Corn, I love you.

Hi. My name is Megan and I am a candy corn addict... er... I mean, expert. Ya. That's the word I was looking for.

It's an obsession, really. I blame my mother. She is the cause of all of my food addictions. Homemade pies, bread, cinnamon rolls and don't even get me started on the sugar cookies. I grew up knowing that all of my problems could easily be remedied with some sort of comfort food. And believe me, its true.

If you share my "expertise" with candy corn, you know that there are certain rules in place. First of all, you never buy any brand but Brach's. All of the others are garbage and if you buy it you'll end up saying silly and blasphemous things like, "I hate candy corn."

Second, you only eat candy corn in the Fall and you only eat the white, orange and yellow ones. You shouldn't buy "bunny corn", "cupid corn", "reindeer corn" or even the white, orange and brown corn because that is just wrong. The other colors are wannabes. Why tamper with perfection? Trust me, it matters.

You might be tempted to buy the cute, little Mellowcreme pumpkins instead of candy corn, but don't be fooled. While they have their rightful place high in the hierarchy of the candy food chain, they should not be eaten in place of the Corn. The Corn is the ruler of all candy.

Be warned that you should not eat too much candy corn at one time. This will make you regret eating it and could possibly cause you to momentarily waiver in your belief of its superiority. Thankfully, you will eventually forget your stomach aches and start to crave it once again. It's kind of like having kids. The pain of childbirth gently fades away in your memory until one day you get a glimpse of a cute, dimply baby and voila! Pregnant again.

Where was I? Oh yes. My sugar-induced coma. My exaggerated sense of well-being. These are both side effects of eating candy corn. While they are not unpleasant, I would advise you to not operate heavy machinery or make any big decisions after partaking of the corn until you know how it will affect your mental processes.

For example:

Abby just walked into the room, read the title of this post and asked, "Who is Candy Corn?" After I regained my composure at my obvious lapse in motherly responsibilities, I informed her that candy corn is not a person and pulled up a picture for her on Google Images.

She started laughing hysterically that I would actually be writing a letter to a piece of candy.

You understand now the depth of my addiction.

She then asked me if we had some candy corn that she could eat.

"Not anymore," I said.

I was lying.

Abby: the grown up first-grader

I was walking Abby to school this morning when she saw the kindergarten kids lined up outside.

Abby:  "Mom, those kids only go to school for three hours, right?"

Me:  "Right."

Abby:  "Ahhhh....those were the good old days."

Yes, indeed. :)

Adventures of a middle-age college student

Here I sit, in between classes, at my first day of school. I feel a bit like I did in High School; not knowing what to do with myself and not sure where I fit in. I had my first class this morning on HTML and Javascript where I learned where the internet came from and that Al Gore didn't, in fact, create it as he loves to claim. He was just in charge of the sub-committee in congress that pushed the legislation through which allowed everyone access to it, not just the government and big businesses. Just a little tidbit of information for you.

Anyway, I think I will like the class and it doesn't seem nearly as difficult as I had first imagined. The instructor is easy going and funny and seems like he is open to questions and discussion. I was one of only three women there and definitely one of the oldest in the room. I sort of expected that, but it still took me a little by surprise and left me feeling somewhat out of place. It's funny that I am going into a field that is mostly male dominated and Shawn went into a field that is female dominated. I guess we balance each other out that way. I just hope that I can do this. By the end of the semester I think I will know. I hope. In the meantime, I will just do my best, work hard and try to squash that tiny voice in my head that's telling me I am out of my league, I'm too old to succeed, and I might as well give up now before I get my hopes up and fail miserably.

Well, it's almost time for my next class. College student extraordinaire!

Wish me luck. :)

warm fuzzies

I woke up today with this yucky, stubborn, selfish feeling. I had a service project to go do and I wasn't looking forward to it. I was going to be gone for half the day and I knew it was going to be hard work. I know...I'm supposed to rejoice in the service of others and I had a terrible attitude, but it's the truth. I'm just keepin' it real, folks. So I drove up the canyon to a girl's camp called Oakcrest to help close the camp for the summer. Since the girls in our stake get to participate in the camp every year, we get the assignment every couple of years to help set it up or take it down. Anyway, there's lots of cleaning involved and it's a huge piece of property with probably 20 cabins and a giant lodge. You get the picture.

But the most interesting thing happens when you spend some time helping others. I don't know how many times I am going to have to learn this lesson, because I am no stranger to service projects, but it's amazing to me how your attitude can go from downright nasty to warm and fuzzy in a matter of a few hours. It was a simple assignment. I wasn't changing the world or anything, but I came home feeling rejuvenated, motivated and just....happy. I cleaned my house, I hugged my kids and for the first time in several weeks I felt grateful for my life in all it's craziness and dysfunction.

So I have learned again today that if you really want a change of heart, it comes from helping others. From getting out of yourself and giving your strength to someone who needs it.

It's a road to all things warm and fuzzy.

A few random things

School starts in two weeks, people! I recently purchased my TWO books for my classes at a whopping $245. Seriously? And they are used books too. I was completely disgusted. You would think that after going through years of school with Shawn that I would be past the sticker shock, but apparently I'm not.

What else... ok, our camping trip last weekend was fun. I have not a single picture to prove we were there, however. I forgot my real camera and I am out of space on my phone. But that's ok. We had a great time, despite a few little scrapes and bruises on my two eldest children who think they can just long board or bike their way down a steep hill without any consequences. Plus one of them was not wearing helmet at the time, which sent me into a fit of motherly rage while simultaneously giving me a nice, big serving of motherly guilt. Hey! Everyone! I'm the mom who let her kid bike around recklessly without a helmet! Oh the shame!

Mother of the year right here, folks.

Everything else in our lives is what you think it would be. Getting ready for school, mourning the end of summer, trying to calm the extreme case of jitters caused by my first real semester of college since 1995 looming in the near future. Sometimes I think I am just out of my mind. I opened my book about HTML and thought I was going to have a heart attack. It's like someone just dropped me into some foreign language class and assumed I already knew how to conjugate the verbs and ask "where can I find the bathroom?" I'm scared. Really, truly scared.

Another Abby moment

Abby:  "Mom? Is Dad good at home stuff AND work stuff?"

Me:  "Ya, Dad's pretty much good at everything."

Abby:  "You're only good at home stuff. Like doing laundry. Oh well! Dads will be Dads!"

Well, at least she thinks I'm good at something.