If you don't have something nice to say...

...then don't say anything at all.

So I haven't been saying much on this blog, because let's face it...reading about my pitiful struggles and first world problems is kind of a downer. But I'm not gonna lie; this past month has been rough. So I took a short leave of absence from life these past few weeks and I have only recently started to take baby steps in a positive direction. A wise man once told me this:

"Attitude. It will make ya or break ya."

In other words, I am determined to concentrate on the sunny side of life. It's worth a try anyway. I've got to do something to pull myself out of this hole I am digging before it gets too deep.

Here is my list of ten happy thoughts:

1.  Shawn got a new job working as a jail nurse for Salt Lake county. He still works a few days a month in the ER, so between the two jobs he comes home with some pretty interesting stories. I won't share them today, since most of them really don't fit the happy thought description. But the job pays really well and the benefits are awesome, so it totally counts as happy.

2.  Alex graduated from high school and got a job. Need I say more?

3.  Nate had to take a summer school class to make up for some, ahem, less than desirable grades. But he worked hard and finished in just a few weeks. That means no more doom and gloom letters from his school counselor. See? Happy!

4.  Seth turned 13 and grew like a foot taller. He also grew a mustache. I'm not sure exactly when that happened. It just appeared one day along with a voice that sounds a lot like he has a perpetual respiratory infection. Ahhh...the awkward stage begins. I'm not sure why I listed this as a happy thought because it actually scares me to death to watch my kids become teenagers. I guess there is a bright side to this though--he still hugs me and isn't embarrassed to be seen with me in public.

5.  Abby is full of life as always. She keeps my days from getting dull and gets me nice and tired so when I go to bed, I fall asleep quickly. Plus she sometimes crawls into my bed in the middle of the night when Shawn is working and keeps me from getting the heeby jeebies.

6.  My miracle van that I have been driving for ten years literally fell apart a few weeks ago, so I got a new car! IT'S AWESOME! I find that if I ignore the fact that I have a ridiculously high car payment, I still feel happy!

7.  Shawn and I celebrated our 20th anniversary on June 6th. It feels very weird, but a happy sort of weird. I can't help but wonder when I will stop feeling like a kid playing a very long game of house.

8.  I turned 40. Hmmmm. Finding the happy thought there is going to be a little difficult. I'm happy I'm still alive? That'll work.

9. Summer is here, the sun is shining, the sky is blue and I'm not cold! Woo hoo!

10. Okay, one more happy thought. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of this summer with my family. We have two camping trips planned, which I hope will give us some relief from the craziness of life.

Yep. It's official. I'm a happy girl. :)

The fault in our stars

No I haven't read the book. Or seen the movie. I generally try to avoid things that I know are depressing. Life can be hard enough without deliberately exposing myself to unhappiness. The world is a profoundly unjust place. Why are some people dealt such a crappy hand? I will never understand it. But I must make peace with it because it isn't going to change.

I received very sad news today; a dear friend of mine is dying. He will not see his kids graduate high school or get married or have their own children. Life is uncertain and inconsistent, so hug your babies tonight and thank God for what you have. I know I will.

Michael Buble Karaoke -- Abby and Nate remix

I posted a few weeks ago about the time that Abby and I were running errands and Michael Buble's song, "Everything", came on the radio. Abby knows the lyrics to the entire song, with the exception of one line from the second verse:

"And I can't believe,

Oh that I'm your man,

And I get to throw your jacket in the frying pan."

It was so funny that I, of course, had to tell everybody. Today Nate added on to it:

"And I can't believe,
Oh that I'm your man,
And I get to throw your jacket in the frying pan.

Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
Cause you know I'll throw your socks in too."

Oh my.

Catching my breath...

Oh what a whirlwind my life has been the past few months. I seriously do not know how I managed to do it all without landing myself in the hospital. I guess it's because I am slowly learning how to manage my time and just concentrate on what needs to be done next. If I think too much about ALL of the things, then I just get overwhelmed, crawl into bed, put the covers over my head and fall asleep in the fetal position. It's not a very good coping strategy.

I really don't like writing "catch up" posts, but I feel like if I don't do it I will forget the fun times. So here goes:

I'll start with Alex's birthday. He turned 18 and I have to admit I felt a little sad. Life just goes by too fast. Soon he will be off on his own, doing his own thing and I will no longer play a leading role in his life. Ah well....I am excited for him too, though. That kid has a lot going for him; talent, intelligence, humor and not to mention my devastatingly good looks. :)

I love this picture. I can't tell who is more excited about the cake--Alex or Abby?

I can't let October go by without a shout out to one of my favorite holidays. Halloween! This marked the first year in which Abby wanted to be something other than a princess (or a variation of one.) Yay! She picked something scary. Doesn't she look terrifying? Ha!

I think this might be the last year that I get Seth to dress up. Of course he chose David Tennant's Dr. Who, complete with his sonic screwdriver.

Abby turned 7 this year! I swear the time has just flown by. Here she is blowing out her candles and losing her first tooth all on the same day.

This is self-explanatory. I went to school. Got good grades. Decided not to go back. The end. Well...not really "the end" because I plan on writing about the details of that later, but this is just to prove to myself that this actually happened.

Random Mommy and Me pic

Our New Year Celebration at Uncle Fraig's.

This doesn't even come close to being all the things I want to talk about, but it has literally taken every ounce of my energy just to write this post. Ahhhhh! More on that later too. Stay tuned! Part 2 is up next!

Hope

Trying to be positive

Thinking is overrated

Remind me of this fact the next time I decide to do something new with my life. Give me a sleazy paperback and a bag of candy to lure me away from temptation. Because do you know what happens to Megan when she has to use more than 10% of her brain? She turns into evil, irritating, cyborg Megan who is a cross between an angsty teenager and an angry chihuahua. If you ever decide to finish your unfinished business just remember that You will be assimilated! Resistance is futile! Run away! Run far, far away!

Now that you have a visual, I'm assuming I don't need to update you on the status of my life.

Deep thought

"If you give a man a fish, you will feed him for a day.

If you teach a man to fish, you will feed him for a lifetime.

If you feed him to a shark, he will quit bugging you for food."

Putting on my big-girl pants

It's interesting how historic milestones in my life often sneak up on me quickly and quietly. I'm so busy speeding through my days that by the time I look around and see what's outside my window, I nearly speed right pass the scenery without having a moment to apply my brakes and enjoy the view. Or better yet, pull over and take a few pictures.

Tomorrow is one of those days, for it is my eldest's 18th birthday.

I can't believe it. I knew it was coming; this moment when I would be the mother of an adult. I have thought about it from time to time over the past two decades, but it always seemed to feel so far away. Now it's here and I am left feeling a little bewildered. Shouldn't I be getting an award of some sort?

"Congratulations, you kept him alive."

I guess that's something. In fact, that's downright unbelievable considering what I know now about that brand new, 21 year-old Mom I was back in 1996. Thank heaven for that user manual I got when he was born. Oh? You didn't get one? I still have my copy. It's called "Go Ask Your Parents". It's well-used and will hopefully remain in circulation for a long time to come because I still don't have the directions straight.

Is this milestone the one that marks the place in time when I finally start acting and feeling like a grown-up? No kidding around this time. It's the real deal. Tomorrow I will feel like a genuine adult, not just a kid who is pretending to be an adult. No more training pants for me. I successfully bred and raised a human. Bring on the wisdom. And give it to me quickly, please, because I still have three more to go.

Dear Candy Corn, I love you.

Hi. My name is Megan and I am a candy corn addict... er... I mean, expert. Ya. That's the word I was looking for.

It's an obsession, really. I blame my mother. She is the cause of all of my food addictions. Homemade pies, bread, cinnamon rolls and don't even get me started on the sugar cookies. I grew up knowing that all of my problems could easily be remedied with some sort of comfort food. And believe me, its true.

If you share my "expertise" with candy corn, you know that there are certain rules in place. First of all, you never buy any brand but Brach's. All of the others are garbage and if you buy it you'll end up saying silly and blasphemous things like, "I hate candy corn."

Second, you only eat candy corn in the Fall and you only eat the white, orange and yellow ones. You shouldn't buy "bunny corn", "cupid corn", "reindeer corn" or even the white, orange and brown corn because that is just wrong. The other colors are wannabes. Why tamper with perfection? Trust me, it matters.

You might be tempted to buy the cute, little Mellowcreme pumpkins instead of candy corn, but don't be fooled. While they have their rightful place high in the hierarchy of the candy food chain, they should not be eaten in place of the Corn. The Corn is the ruler of all candy.

Be warned that you should not eat too much candy corn at one time. This will make you regret eating it and could possibly cause you to momentarily waiver in your belief of its superiority. Thankfully, you will eventually forget your stomach aches and start to crave it once again. It's kind of like having kids. The pain of childbirth gently fades away in your memory until one day you get a glimpse of a cute, dimply baby and voila! Pregnant again.

Where was I? Oh yes. My sugar-induced coma. My exaggerated sense of well-being. These are both side effects of eating candy corn. While they are not unpleasant, I would advise you to not operate heavy machinery or make any big decisions after partaking of the corn until you know how it will affect your mental processes.

For example:

Abby just walked into the room, read the title of this post and asked, "Who is Candy Corn?" After I regained my composure at my obvious lapse in motherly responsibilities, I informed her that candy corn is not a person and pulled up a picture for her on Google Images.

She started laughing hysterically that I would actually be writing a letter to a piece of candy.

You understand now the depth of my addiction.

She then asked me if we had some candy corn that she could eat.

"Not anymore," I said.

I was lying.