There are no more babies in my house. I know I put on a good show the other day about how excited I was, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. But I take it back. I sent Abby into class today (where she quite willingly went) and then walked home by myself to an empty house. Yes, I cried just a little, right before I wandered around aimlessly, followed by a glassy-eyed stare out the window. At this point I decided I better do something productive, so I rearranged my furniture, which is really just a way for me to assert my control over one aspect of my life because I feel like I've lost control over another. See? I am learning something in therapy.
Three hours later I was walking myself back to the school, ten minutes early. I chatted nonchalantly with another mom while I was stealing glances at the Kindergarten door every thirty seconds. Abby walked out a few minutes later with the biggest smile on her little face. "Mommy!" she giggled and ran to me for a hug. We walked hand-in-hand back to our house while she talked about the day's adventures and I realized something--I really shouldn't wish it away too soon. And I won't. I will cherish this time with her because there is one thing I can live without: regret.
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