A play in three acts

The cast:  Mom and Abby

The plot:  A series of conversations between mother and daughter.

The setting:  Sacrament meeting.

Act One

(Congregation is folding their arms reverently during our five-minute -- no lie, it was FIVE MINUTES -- opening prayer.  At about minute number two, Abby starts to fidget.)

Abby (using a hushed voiced that barely qualifies as a whisper):  "Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  When are we going to be done?"

Mom:  "We just started, Abby.  We have about an hour left in the meeting."

Abby:  "One hour?  Is that a long time?"

Me:  "Well, ya kinda."

Abby:  "Uuuuuuuuuuuh.  Nooooooooooooo."

Me:  "Fold your arms and stop talking!"

(Next scene, during minute four of never-ending prayer)

Abby: "Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom."

Me:  "Whaaaaat?!?"

Abby (using the whiniest voice she can possibly muster):  "This is the loooooongest prayer EVER."


Act Two

(Congregation is bowing their heads reverently as the sacrament is passed.  I take that back.  Everyone except my children are bowing their heads reverently.)

Abby:  "Mom?  Your arms look like Sponge Bob's"

Me:  "..........."


Act Three

(Congregation is getting restless.  Sacrament meeting is running in overtime, probably due to the aforementioned five-minute prayer.)

Abby (Not even bothering with the whisper this time):  "Mom, do you know how to say hello in Hawaii-an?  Alooooooooooha!"

Me:  "Wow, that's awesome!"

Abby:  "I am so smart, huh."

Me: "Yes you are definitely a smart girl."

Abby:  "Yup.  My brain is getting lots of wrinkles."

(Mom laughs out loud, congregation sings "We Are All Enlisted" and curtain closes on yet another successful sacrament meeting.)