Cheese = happiness

Introducing my latest addiction:

Have any of you tried this stuff?  Holy moly!  I can't get enough of it.  I was grazing the other day at Costco and sampled this little piece of heaven, served by a cute lady who proclaimed it to be tasty and satisfying.  I have to say I agree.

So here's the bad news:

Yup.  There is pretty much no nutritional value whatsoever.  It's almost 100% fat and one little serving of 2 Tbsp. fills up 40% of your saturated fat intake for the day.  Which, of course, is why it is so dang yummy.  I admit with little shame that I can eat the entire box in one sitting if I so desired.

The best cracker to eat this with is:

Also available at Costco!  (dear Costco...I want free cheese).  

I know...you see the words "rice crackers" and you think "boring", but these are salty, cheesy and yummy!  Thank heaven they are low fat, low calorie and as close as you can get to just eating air.  It cancels out the cheese, don't you think?  So I can eat as much as I want, right?  Right.

life at 4 a.m.

So it seems that I must endure another night of only 4 hours of sleep.  I'm not sure what is happening inside my brain to make me so sleep deprived, but here I sit, 4 o'clock in the morning while everyone else is blissfully sleeping.  I am wandering around the house, eating cereal and contemplating life.  The heater is humming quietly and I can hear Shawn snoring in the background.  Words are jumping around in brain, but I just can't seem to bring them all together and let them flow out of me.

Such is life at the moment.

What does a person DO at 4 a.m.?  I am open to suggestions.

Isn't this nice?

Typical family dinner at my house:

It's like someone had a camera installed in my kitchen...and then made a cartoon out of it.

Except a few things need to be added.  Like musical chairs.  And kids choking.  And me laughing so hard I have to leave to room.

Do the limbo

limbo  n.
1.  A state or place of confinement.
2.  An intermediate stage.
3.  A dance from West India that is freaky, but disturbingly genius.

Or we could submit a new definition:
4.  My life in a nutshell.

So Shawn didn't pass his first attempt at the dreaded NCLEX, otherwise known as "the most ridiculous test in history".  Seriously, why can't it just be a straightforward measure of a person's knowledge and aptitude for nursing?  Why all the trickery, chicanery and shenanigans?  For cryin' out loud people spend thousands of dollars on their education, then turn around and spend hundreds more taking entire courses dedicated to passing this test;  teaching you how to navigate your way through the silliness so you can find the one little key word that will magically tell you which answer is "most correct".

Guaranteed you'll pass or your money back!

Needless to say, Shawn didn't take that extra course two months ago.  Looking back, (insert sarcasm) we believe it was an unwise decision.

So here we go again, another 45 days of studying, crying, not sleeping and generally banging our heads against the wall.  And taking a course that is guaranteed (or your money back) to make you feel stupid, just in case your experience in nursing school didn't already take care of that.

In limbo.  In between stages.  Not feeling like there is a place in life where we fit.  Just going through the motions and getting on each other's nerves.  I suppose I should use this as a learning experience.  You know...try to find the lesson, learn from it, lean into  it.

But I really just want to fling it out the window.

Ok enough complaining.  I will stop complaining for a moment.  The complaining part of this post is now over.  On to looking on the brighter side of things, like it's now February and you know what that means don't you?

That January is over!!  And spring is coming!!

Ahhhh...spring.  It makes me happy inside just hearing the word.  Knowing it's right around the next corner.  It feels me with all sorts of giddiness and gives me this sudden urge to play in the dirt.  It also means that the kids will actually go outside to play once in a while instead of parking their butts in front of an endless stream of Netflix cartoons or video games.  Yes, spring is awesome.  It's all trampolines and tulips and bunny rabbits.  It's the host of all my favorite holidays (except Halloween, of course) and it represents, to me, a new start and a new life.  A chance to begin again.

And to quit doing the limbo. :)

January

Otherwise known as the worst month EVER.  Sorry to all of you January-born folks and all of you determined optimists, but I just can't get over how rotten the whole deal is.  Everything about January sucks.  I know, we all love our snow and lights in December, but in January, the snow is dirty and the lights are out.  Not to mention it's -4 stinking degrees outside in our lovely valley.  People say that hell is a fiery and hot place, but no, no...I am convinced it is a bitterly cold wasteland devoid of life and feeling.  Ya.  Kinda like January.

But don't worry!  President's Day...no wait...Martin Luther King day is coming up this weekend!  Yay!! (insert sarcasm)

As I sit here cuddled up next to my tiny, electric heater that I had to bribe away from the kids, I am reflecting on my life and the past few months.  My little world hasn't been an especially happy one lately.  I had this feeling back in September when Shawn started his last semester of school that this would not be the end of our struggles.  I wanted to feel relief at finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, but I really just felt wary and a little bit frightened.  That light did, in fact, feel like an oncoming train.  Everyone around us was cheering us on;  A lot of our friends and family told us with relief that we would finally be getting  back to "real" life and things would get back to the way they were.  But I have never felt that relief.  Not once.  Not truly.  I have felt like we still had the hardest climb yet ahead of us and maybe we would have to draw on reserves that are so deeply hidden, we didn't even know they were there.  Since this is my happy and sanitary blog, I will spare you my entire sob story.

I guess my point is that it's January in my life right now:  both literally and figuratively.  It feels cold, uncertain, bleak, uncomfortable, but there are moments of sunshine and parts of the day when I am finally warm.  And the thing about January...is that it can't last forever.  It only has 31 days (yes, I had to recite the poem in my head to figure that out) and it only comes once a year.  Sure, it will inevitably roll around again in 12 months, but I can make it through every January in my life as long as I know that eventually, warmer days will come.

a bit of Fascinating

One of my favorite blogs is called "Because my life is fascinating".  It's written by a sassy, sarcastic, adorable chick named Hillary.  She's a regular mom who deals with life just like the rest of us do:  one day at a time.  She has an interesting story.  You should go check her out:  thehilljean.com  Besides all that, she's a fantastic writer.  Today I feel compelled to post a poem she wrote that I adore and happens to really define my life at the moment.  As far as I know, it doesn't have a title.  Enjoy!

Humbled by magnanimity
That occupies my house.

Lord knows it's not mine.

God give me grace
to accept this nakedness.

Raw and exposed,
Helpless.
Unadorned.

We are your people
And You are the Shepherd.

Why do we have to be sheep?

Can you make my path straight?
Or---
Perhaps clear the hedges?

As in, take all of my problems away?

My puzzle solved.
My riddle ridded.

You are God.

May I bow out graciously?
Or shall I just kneel?

I'll just kneel.

Could you just help me kneel?


~written by Hillary at thehilljean.com

The virtual Halloween parade {2012}

What is the deal with Halloween?  It is by far the weirdest holiday we celebrate as Americans.  We dress up in anything we can think of, from scary to downright bizarre, walk around and beg for candy from our neighbors, put out jack-o-lanterns to ward off evil spirits that don't exist, then we put away our decorations as fast as we can the next day because we can't stand the sight of them anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love Halloween.  It's my second favorite holiday.  Every year I get excited about the whole costume thing.  I think my family gets a little frustrated with me, honestly, because I bug them and bug them and bug them about their costume until they at least show a little enthusiasm.

Abby is the easy one.  She LOVES to play dress up.  The problem with her is keeping her committed to the same idea long enough for me to sew the costume.

I found this cute pattern at a website called A train to crazy.  It came together relatively quickly, which for me means twice as long as it would take someone who actually knows what they are doing.  I got the fabric on the "value" rack at Walmart ($1 a yard!) and let me tell you, there is a reason why it is so cheap.  I don't think there is a natural fiber to be found anywhere in it.  But that's ok!  All in the name of Halloween!

I got the shoes from Walmart too, which I rationalized by thinking she would most likely wear them every day for regular shoes after Halloween was over.

Doesn't she look freaking adorable?

                                                                   

Seth is lookin pretty cool in his motocross stuff.  His was the easiest one because we already had everything. I forgot to take a picture of the back of his shirt, but it actually says S. SHIPLEY.  He couldn't wear his helmet for the school parade, so we smudged "dirt" around his goggles to make it look like he had been riding all day.

Nate's costume was awesome!  It cost about $5 to make and turned out so funny.  The only problem with doing something like this is that while the people who actually know what you are supposed to be are going to love it, most people just thought he was a funny robot.

If you have never seen LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem video and you are dying to be in the know, then here you go.  Just don't blame me when this song gets stuck in your head for three days.

Here's the story with Alex.  He hates Halloween.  He always has.  We think it might stem from the fact that I sewed him a fuzzy lion costume when he was barely walking and paraded him around in it while he scowled and cried.  He probably needs therapy.

So getting him to participate in Halloween is tricky.  Getting him to dress up is nearly impossible.  But I pitched the Waldo idea and he went with it.  Especially when he decided he would photo bomb every picture he could.

I didn't make this costume, but ordered it from Newegg.com for a great price!

And yes, that is a cemetery he is walking around in.

Happy Halloween everyone!!

Gummy bears and teenagers and happily ever after.

This is Alex.  He turned 16 the other day.  It's a big deal, apparently.  Driving, dating, working and all that junk;  basically being a miniature grown-up.  It's a right of passage--a milestone, right?  Parties must be planned, presents must be carefully purchased and memories must be made.  And let me tell you...did we ever party!  Three parties, actually.  One smallish family dinner with shrimp kebobs on his birthday, a ginormous extended family dinner a few days later and then a huge friend party the next weekend.

Which brings me to the gummy bears.  Let me just add this as a word of warning to those who are contemplating the food menu for a "teenage" party.  If you value your sanity, do NOT under any circumstance purchase any item that has the word "gummy" in the title.  If there is one thing I have learned from the past few weeks it is that gummy bears are never a good idea.  Especially if they end up not in the bellies of those lovely brats you have invited, but thrown around your yard in an all-out food fight.  And might I also add that anything gummy does not melt with the rain or get picked up by the birds.  It gets sticky, glues itself to whatever surface it is lying on and will likely still be there after the zombie apocalypse.

So what was I talking about?  Oh yes...memories!  That is what we are making folks!  Truthfully, I remember exactly two details about my 16th birthday.  First, I had a party of some sort in which people I think I liked came and invaded my house.  Second, the boy I had sat and stared at in health class all year asked me to be his girlfriend.  And I said no.  You wanna know why?  Well, besides the fact that my parents had told me I wasn't allowed to date exclusively and I was SUCH (insert sarcasm here) an obedient child?  Because I had just met another boy.  The boy of my dreams, actually.  Funny, sweet, and devilishly handsome...I was a goner.  I was in teenage love and any part of life that did not directly relate to my new-found love became unimportant.

I guess my point is that it's not the parties or the food or the cute decorations that your mom spent hours making that will imprint in our memories.  It's the people you love.

So where is this boy of my dreams now?

Well...actually, he's upstairs in the kitchen fixing breakfast for our four-year-old.  ;)

How's that for a happily ever after?

That's life

Well, here we go.  It's about that time to do an "update" post.  More like a journal entry or maybe just a way to chronicle the little pieces of my life.  I have so many saved drafts in this blog.  The ones that never get published are usually the most personal.  I guess I tend to only show the shiny side of life to the general public.  But life isn't always shiny.  So I end up posting bland little updates, or funny pictures or amusing one-liners from Abby.  Why do I have such a hard time really putting myself out there?  Sometimes I wish I could be more comfortable in my own skin.  Maybe someday.  Until then, here is another post about life that will probably only talk about the shiny stuff.

So the past few weeks have felt so strange to me.  Do you ever get those times in your life when everything just seems so weird?  Like nothing fits or feels normal.  Like you are looking at yourself from behind a camera and thinking, "Is that what I really look like in real life?"  I don't know, I can't explain it very well, but there ya go.  That's me for the past few weeks.  Just feeling off.  Maybe it's because the season is changing, kids are back at school and I am looking at the next 6 months with a definite feeling of, well, trepidation.  There is always so much to think about and so much going on.


Shawn is back in school for what we are hoping is the LAST semester.  Oh, I can't even tell you how this makes me feel.  But I will tell you how it makes Shawn feel:

And this is just a two-year nursing program.  I think about my sister's husband who went to dental school, or our friends who went through anesthesia school and it blows my mind.  How, how, how?  You have my undying admiration.  Plus you all had to move to another state in the process.  Our little adventure is really just that in comparison.  But I am so grateful we have had the opportunity and I am hopeful that it will bring positive changes to our lives.

But here is what is happening in the present, outlined just for you in order of birthright:

Alex just started 10th grade.  High school, folks.  Geez, I am freaking OLD.  But let's admire how cute he is for a moment:

You know what really gets to me?  The fact that I can remember in excruciating detail my first day of high school.  Plus the fact that I met my husband my sophomore year.  Yikes.  It is only a few short years before this kid is off doing his own thing.  He recently auditioned for a really amazing jazz group and he made it!  They want him to be in two bands--one called Voodoo Orchestra and a new Ska band called Kingston Winter.  It's kind of expensive, so he originally auditioned for just Voodoo, but they offered him a tuition scholarship if he wanted to be in the other as well.  So he is going to be pretty busy this year.  But I figure, hey, it's ok--less time for dating. ;)

Nate is off to a great start too.  He started 8th grade and is...hmmm...tolerating it?  Lol.

I think we have his classes figured out so that he won't be as stressed and can concentrate on the subjects in which he excels.  He LOVES his band classes, of course, and he has a geology class and science class that he seems to be pretty fond of as well.  Mostly because they get to blow stuff up occasionally, but you know, whatever gets them excited about school.  Ha ha.  We also finally made him try talked him into trying a swim class at the high school.  I can see that it is going to be tremendously helpful to him in so many ways.  I can already see a difference in his confidence and attitude towards life.  Plus, I swear that kid was born with gills.  He is a freaking fish.

Seth is in 5th grade now and I realized the other day that he is the same age now that Alex was when Abby was born.

So weird!  He is starting to lose that little kid face and is becoming a young man.  When did this happen?  Seth!  You were supposed to be my little buddy forever, dude!  What the heck?  Seth also brought home a shiny new trumpet last week.  Yes, we are going to have our jazz trio...well, in maybe 2 or 3 years!  I think Seth is very excited to finally have an instrument that is his very own to play and learn.  After so many years listening to his brothers, he gets to be part of the action.  I think he would still like to learn piano, too, but we'll see how things go in the next few months.

Abby is in her last year of pre-school and she loves it, of course.

Every day she asks me if it's a school day and how many days are left before she goes to school and how many hours are left before we leave for school today.  What was I thinking when I put her in the afternoon class?  Really?  Now I get to listen to 5 hours of constant updates on how much more time we have before we leave.  She is just such a social child. I'm afraid I don't understand how that feels.  How do you parent a child who is the complete polar opposite of yourself?  I mean, she wears leopard print for cryin' out loud!  What am I going to do with her?  ....sigh....  One thing I do know---she really is my sunshine.  There have been many times when she has saved me from sinking too deeply into darkness, without even knowing that she does it.  Even though I am supposed to be the one who saves her and teaches her, she is constantly the one who rescues me.  Shall I stop there before I start breaking out into some sappy, country music song?  Yes, I shall.

So where does this leave us?  Hmm...how about a gratuitous picture?

At the Brigham City temple open house, looking all sorts of happy.  Or sort of happy...something like that.

And there you have it.  Life.

Seth's turns 10...double digits! Yay!

Seth turned double digits in June and we pretty much told him a backyard party with all of our family was the only activity that would be happening.  With Shawn working full-time doing long haul driving and the serious lack of funding in our household, a home based brouhaha was the only solution.  But having a big dinner with our crazy families is so. much. fun.  It also served as a reminder of why we bought this house.  The yard is very party friendly!  Here's the highlights from the night:

My kids love this cake we lovingly term, the cookie cake.  It's made from buying ridiculously expensive chocolate wafer cookies and then sticking them together with whip cream.  Yup.  That's it.

This is the first NEW bike this kid has ever owned!  I guess that hand-me-downs just come with the territory of being a middle child, right?  Poor guy....I totally sympathize.

I can't believe it has really been 10 YEARS!  I swear I just got home from the hospital with this beautiful little boy, like, I don't know...last week?  He gave us the scare of our lives when he was born, deciding not to eat or keep anything he ate in his little stomach, so off to Primary Children's Hospital he went after a mere 12 hours into his life.  I was a mess, Shawn was a mess and we needed a miracle.  After much fasting and prayer from our supportive family, our little miracle occurred and Seth was home with his family after only 2 days in the NICU.  He has been nothing short of miraculous ever since!  Smart, sweet, sensitive, and affectionate, he steals the hearts of everyone around him.  Our family would be incomplete without him and we love him more than he will ever know.  Happy Birthday Seffers!